Pins and Needles

I am on pins and needles today!
Thing are supposed to happen soon to children that I have grown to love as my own. It may be traumatic for them. They may be happy about it. I don't know how it will go down. I just sit on the other side of the world and wait for news. I have done all I can think of doing. I have tried to assist other women, who I have grown to admire and envy, as they have tried to find a safe place for these children. I don't know if they are mine yet. Some days I receive encouragement that it is still possible, but most days I see no possibilities. I do know that I was supposed to come this far on the journey for a reason. Maybe my efforts will lead to their happiness in a different way than I had imagined and that was Gods plan for me all along. I can tell you what I think is right for them but it may be different from what God knows is right for them. Maybe when all the dust settles I will see a brighter path for bringing them here. If not, I can hopefully take comfort in them being loved by another mother that has been provided for them. If I know they have a mother who will hold them tight, teach them the gospel and and love them forever... I will be very happy with the outcome. Who ever their mother turns out to be will be so blessed by them. Every child deserves to have a mother and a safe place. In seeing all I have seen in the past year I have learned that these two things are among the bare necessities for children. They have neither right now. Hopefully that will change very soon.

Meanwhile, a little closer to us ("a little" mind you). Things are looking up again. We are starting the process over. I hope it won't take as long as they are anticipating. I am optimistic again.
My new found passion helps me to deal with the waiting. I have been meeting wonderful people who have similar passions. I know I am forging friendships that will become a great strength to me as we go down this road together. I feel like I am doing good in the world and maybe even fulfilling my motherly duties to my children I have yet to meet in this lifetime. With the opportunities I see in my near future I am excited and scared at the same time.