A heavy heart and an answered prayer

This is my first adoption experience ever so I don't know what is normal. All I know is what is real to me, and feelings of the heart are real to me.
Let me go back a few months to when the boys circled back into my life. I really was faced with the huge task of discovering, in myself, if I could take on two beautiful children with some quite apparent disabilities and challenges. I prayed a lot and went to the temple a lot. Each time gaining insight to myself, my heart, and Heavenly Fathers trust in me. To help me know the answers to my question, I had to see myself as their mother. I had to think of them as a part of this family. I had to visualize ours days with school, homework, doctor appointments, family trips, were they would sleep, etc. I figured it all out and came to the conclusion that we could do this.
That was when I was feeling bleak about Haiti. But things started to happen there as well and I was stuck trying to figure out which path to take, if I indeed had to chose. It has been hard for me going back and forth from Haiti to Ghana (worst jetlag then the actually plane ride, I'm sure). I have even tried to figure out how I could have it both ways. Maybe I would only get one child from Haiti and still get the boys? Maybe I could do four? I would quit my work for Primary Childrens for a while, maybe Mothers for Haiti was not as big as I hoped it would become... I would have my children and I could be happy with that, right?
I decided to pray more fervently lately about my children. If they were in Haiti, I needed to know soon or my window for the boys would close. I felt like everything has been in limbo. I knew things where falling apart for adoptions in Ghana but I still thought if God wanted it to happen it would, so I was not too discouraged.
My answer came today. Not directly from Heavenly Father but from information a good friend felt she needed to inform me of. LH adoptions are closed for more reasons then she was at liberty to share with me. She said it was bad and that they would not be able to be adopted. I told her how I was atleast going to pay for their eductaion and she told me that I should not send any money to LH either. I am trying to be a vague as I can so that I don't upset anyone who might read my blog and have connections to LH.
My heart is broken. I don't know how I would have come to the decisions I did with out putting myself in that tender place. I think Heavenly Father wanted me to go there for other reasons yet known to me. I was there and now my heart hurts. I feel a hole inside of me were a vision of two little brown faces waking me up in the morning use to be. I am sure it will all make sense to me someday. Thats my faith speaking to me. But, right now, I'm very sad.
On the other hand, I don't need to feel the pressure any longer of chosing between two countries. I know my children will come home. I am sure they are in Haiti and I hear good things are happening. Now, I just need to wait and prepare myself and my family, spiritually and physically, for their homecoming.
They say that Heavenly Fathers answers prays either with a "yes", a "no", or a "not right now". I got "not right now" for a while so I know it was a journey he wanted me to take. The "no" stings a lot but it feels more like a "My sweet daughter, I love you. I know this must hurt you but I need you trust me on this." So I will.